Lars Wirzenius: Random thought: Honya budo
Honya budo is the martial arts skill of
visiting a bookstore without buying a book. It is an arcane
art, practiced by secret masters in obscure parts of the
world for several centuries. During the 20th century, when
literacy went up in the western world, and people from every
social strata started frequenting shops selling books, this
venerable art has begun to rise in popularity.
The first level of honya budo is the "Way of the
In-Out". It consists of going into a bookstore,
looking around to see that they do indeed have many books
for sale, inhaling the intoxicating smell of new books, and
then immediately leaving the premises. This way, a novice
learns to use the door and gains the right to use a plain
white bookmark.
The second level of honya budo is the "The
Feeling of the Touch". This consists of the novice
doing the "Way of the In-Out", but before leaving, actually
taking a book off a shelf, opening it, caressing it with
gentle hands, feeling the texture of the spine, and enjoying
the exquisite sensual smoothness of the paper. When the
novice can do this, and put the book back on the shelf and
leave the store without buying anything, the novice has
achieved enlightenment of the second level and becomes an
apprentice, and gains the right to use a colored paper
bookmark.
The third level of honya budo is the "Path of the
Randomly Hopping Rabbit". The apprentice enters the
book selling establishment, visits every department therein,
and looks for a book they have previously shown a special
desire to have, which may not have been published. When they
can't find it, they then speak to a salesperson, inquiring
about the book. When the apprentice can do this and leave
the establishment, without making the salesperson annoyed,
and without buying anything, they have achieved enlightment
of the third level and become an adept, and gain the right
to use a leather bookmark.
The fourth level of honya budo is the "Stretched
Leg of the Giraffe". The adept visits a bookstore
with another adept, and spends an afternoon there, wandering
from book case to book case, taking out books and discussing
them with each other, commenting on their good and bad
points, and recommending especially good books to each
other. When an adept can recommend a book that the other
will happily buy, but they themselves do not buy anything,
then they achieve enlightenment of the fourth level and
become a master, and gain the right to use a bookmark signed
by the author of a book.
The fifth level of honya budo is the "Flight of
the Serpent". When the master can visit a
bookstore, and get given books for free, they have achieved
enlightenment of the fifth level and become a supreme grand
master, and can use any kind of bookmark they wish.

