
So, you know, SCO has been suing various people in the Linux community for the last few years, claiming that some code in Linux was stolen from them. So, I’m willing to bet that a lot of people were wondering:
what exactly is SCO UnixWare? Well. Have I got a treat for you. Thanks to this wonderful thing called
the Internet, you too, can experience SCO UnixWare in it’s full glory.
Right, so! I wouldn’t want to stop you from experiencing perhaps, the most
enterprisy OS ever. Lets get it on.
Installing the OS — the most
enterprisy installer ever.
The SCO installer is the most ass-backwards convoluted thing someone could have ever invented. It’s downright bloody insane. But, a picture is worth a thousand words, or something like that.

This is the boot splash screen. You’ll see it a lot. The release 7.1.3 text goes back and forth a lot, kinda like the Windows XP startup screen except with less artistic talent. After a little while, you boot into a language selection screen.

You choose English, and it presents you with:

You press F10 to continue. Pressing F10 is kinda like rolling a 2d6, except it’s more enterprisy. You’ll be pressing F10 a lot. It asks you to enter a license key. But, SCO doesn’t really care about licensing it seems. You press F8 to tell it that “you don’t have a license”, and it gives you the option to use an “evaluation license which expires in 60 days”.

You choose yes, you anti-capitalist pirate. Don’t worry, at this point, the SCO installer has probably phoned home and told them to add you to their SCOsource litigation. It starts unpacking drivers, and asks you if you would like to use the driver configuration utility.

You exit out of the driver configuration utility. It asks you for the system hostname, and installation method.

Time to partition your hard drive. Finally. This is what it’s all about.

Wow, that was
easy wasn’t it. You press enter three times, kinda like the
free software OS we know and love. It asks you what packages you would like to install.

You choose the default. Mostly because I couldn’t be assed. Now you go back to setting up the network??? You think back, and recall vaguely that you set up the network already. Apparently you didn’t, as it now wants you to manually configure your ethernet adaptor, despite the fact that it autoconfigured itself moments ago.

You enter in some information to make it happy. It asks you to set the clock.

You enter in some data and press F10. It asks you to set up a user, set the root password and set the system security level.

It asks you to accept the license agreement, in a very
enterprisy way. Infact, it’s so
enterprisy you don’t have to read the actual license.

You choose “display licenses”; because you’re curious. You see the following copyleft licenses:

It asks to be sure you really want to install this
enterprisy OS.

You hit F10, acknowledging your willingness to sell your soul to
satan SCO. Installation begins, you wait about 20 minutes, and the thing is finally installed.

You look up and see it installing netscape. You sigh, as you know what that means.

It installs documentation. You nearly fall asleep.

Wasn’t that percentage meter more a little while ago? You go back to whatever you were doing. Finally, it “sets up UnixWare”, and tells you that it has finished.

You hit Enter. But, you forgot to eject your CD.

Ok, you reboot finally. It boots back into unixware, and you get presented with the bootsplash:

It boots up for the first time.

It asks if you would like to install anything off of CD2 or CD3. You choose no, and it spams you about some update support contract thing.

It decides to rebuild your kernel for some random reason. By rebuild, I mean, “relink using binary blobs”. But, I digress.

The system reboots, because it rebuilt the kernel.

The system boots, you’re presented with even more advertising.

This concludes our look at SCO UnixWare. I hope you’ve found it fun. There’s more fun images in
this directory, including a
mollyguarded shutdown and much more.