As readers of my blog know, I
moved to a new flat just after Easter.
Unfortunately, on that Monday afternoon, just after we finished hauling most
of the furniture (the heavy stuff at least) over to the new place, I slipped
as I was leaping off the transporter vehicle, lost an argument against gravity
and hit the asphalt more or less horizontally after a 1.5 metre fall.
I landed on both wrists and my left knee, and while my consciousness never
left, reality sort of blurred away, as I rolled over on the ground and waves
of pain began rippling through my body. People started assembling around me
and the adrenaline faded away, then I realised that this move of mine was not
going to end as smoothly as it had begun. My body refused to bend my left
wrist and knee and I knew I was injured, but it did not hurt so much for me to
conclude anything serious. I remembered the ice packs in my freezer and had my
cousin fetch them, then let two colleagues carry me to bed to regain my
bearing, but the pain got worse and I started to accept that I would have to
go to the hospital.
Still optimistic ("it's just a contusion, it's just a sprain"), I crawled
from my cousins car to the wheel chair, into the hospital and onto a bed to
await the verdict. Still thinking about returning home tomorrow, I spent hours
on the bed, being pushed between the x-ray, casting, and diagnostic rooms
until finally I was told of my fate: multiple fractures of my left knee cap,
broken ulna and radius on my left arm with splinters in the joints, and
a fractured metacarpal bone on the right my pinky's tendon was supposed to
snap, but it proved too strong and rather caused the part of the bone to which
it was attached to rip off.
They deciced to perform surgery on the two left limbs but to leave the
metacarpal bone alone because of the complexity of the fracture and the
proximity of all my hand's and fingers' nerves. Because everything was swollen
like a balloon ready to burst, I had to wait three days for the surgery with
casts and a splint on my leg.
The surgery was scheduled for Thursday morning and even though I was actually
looking forward to it all (especially the administration of the anesthetic),
I was simply too tired in the early morning hours, and the Dormicum tablet
they fed me did the rest: I was asleep when we entered the surgery room and
woke up at noon with new casts and a morphine injection pumping
a comparatively large dose of the drug into my veins every eight minutes
apparently, my body was going through a lot of pain during the surgery, so
the "pain management service" (in German, they're just called "Schmerzdienst"
"pain service", actually) opted to pump it up. Here's what I looked liked
shortly after the surgery:

Meanwhile, Gian-marco, my future flat mate, had spent the day packing up
everything that was left in my old flat, where I had left an utter mess.
A colleague of mine was to sublet the place starting that Saturday, so there
were roughly 48 hours left to empty and clean it, and to hand it over. There
are more pleasant things in heaven and earth than to have someone else empty
your flat for you.
Morphine is a really crazy drug. Most people think of it as fuzzy and often
joke about taking it if only they could get their hands on it. Having made the
experience, I'd rather not take it again unless I have to. Watching television
turned out to be impossible, even the weather report went too fast for me.
Visitors appeared sort of blurry, I would often not follow the things they
said, and it was definitely impossible to entertain thoughts for prolonged
periods of time, or to engage in any sort of productive thinking. Organising
a cleaning lady for my old flat and giving instructions to my cousin, who
would hand over the flat took all my energy
On Friday, I was to have an important business meeting with three people, so
I organised a room in the hospital and asked the nurses to put me on optional
morphine so I could be a bit more present during the meeting. As
a consequence, I could press a button once every ten minutes for a dose of
morphine, and with this new level of control, I began to reduce the drug
amount in my blood gradually.
The meeting did not take place in the end but I came to regret my choice to
reduce the morphine at around midnight, when the pain in my knee became
unbearable. I kept pressing the button for more morphine like a madman, but
the device would only deliver a new shot every 10 minutes. The nurse was not
authorised to change that and instead gave me other pain and sleep medication,
but not even the combination of morphine, Tramal (an opiod), Novalgin,
Mefenacid, and Paracetamol could dampen the level of pain, and so I spent
almost three hours in real agony, biting the pillow with tears running down my
cheeks, until finally the medication won, I became indifferent (thanks to
Temesta) and drifted off into sleep.
After breakfast the next morning, the morphine applicator suddenly had a fit,
started beeping, and pumped more drug into my body than it should have. It
took me about 20 minutes or maybe an hour (who knows ) to put my brain
together, realise what had happened, and come up with a way to lift my finger
to the button to call the nurse. Despite the horrible night, I told them to
remove the morphine because I'd rather stand the pain than have my brain
mushed like that, plus there are always plain morphine injections delivered by
humans instead of machines.
In fact, the next night I could feel the pain approaching and since it's
easier to suppress pain than it is to remove it, I asked for a sleeping pill
and a morphine injection. The injection did three things: first, it hurt so
much that my knee immediately became pain-free while nerve central was
occupied trying to figure out what the heck had just happened in my right
thigh. Second, it did not take three minutes to kick in, and it kicked in so
strongly that I just barely realised that my head was suboptimally positioned
on the pillow and the lights still on, but failed to do anything about it.
I did not wake once until breakfast. And third, I am glad to know that
morphine does actually (still) work. Pain is complex, fascinating, useful,
sometimes even pleasurable to some, but when you know the cause and you'd
rather make it stop, it's comforting to know that there are ways the
previous night had instilled some doubt in me.
From then it was all downhill and I left the hospital after eleven days on
Thursday, got by without pain medication the same day and off the sleeping
pills the next night. Two days later I was already racing around town in my
wheel chair:

By now I can actually walk again, albeit slowly, and even though I still
cannot lift heavy stuff or get my hands wet, my hands are a lot better; on 21
May, the casts shall be removed and I'll be able to bend my knee again, but it
may take up to a year to return to sports, such as running, to which I had
just become addicted. In fact, I can comfortably claim that I had just
reached an acceptable level of fitness just before the injury. Tough luck.
My mother has come to Zurich twice already to help unpack and with her
invaluable help, as well as the help of Gian-marco and several others, we are
actually almost done moving in. Ironically, it's actually quite annoying to
sit and watch others do your work; I would have helped as well, had the roles
been inverted, and yet I am still greatly indebted. Human relations tend to be
funny like that.
Let me end with two points: first,
Zurich's university hospital probably ranks among the best hospitals in the
world, and that makes Zurich even more attractive to me (even though I
certainly don't plan my next hospital stay). I felt very comfortable throughout
my stay, had the impression of being in very capable hands, and had most of my
countless questions answered. In addition, the hospital is very nicely
surrounded by a park and could not be more central, which makes it easier for
visitors.
And that brings me to my final thought: thanks to everyone who stopped by or
called in to make my stay a lot more pleasant. I spent eleven days in the
hospital and I got bored and annoyed for the first time on Wednesday, the day
before my release. Most of the credit for those ten days of lack of boredom
goes to everyone who supported me. It did help that I had Internet access via
a convenient 2 /day
GPRS flatrate
(even though I could not really type), but it became crystal clear to me that
visiting someone in the hospital, whether you're close to the patient or not,
is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give. In the past I have neglected
this opportunity occasionally; now I would want to make a special effort (even
though I hope there won't be any need).
And I would not be a geek if I did not end this post with a reference to
Debian: I know of a case when one of our developers
ended up in hospital and two others (or was it more?) drove hours to visit and
check in on him/her. Now even more than before can I say that I am proud to be
a member of a project in which such things happen.
PS: this post took me about 4 hours to compose. Sucks to be typing one-handed.